?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
2:15 AM
i dunno wat im doing at this time of the morn. here.
i dunno...mayb i juz felt like typing.something.
haix..
i tried to fill in the application form for Sim.
i cant.
i mean i cant finish it.
yet.
gotta ask dad how to ans those darn qns.
theres so many things to do n bring.
n de fee.
guess wat?
its 52 bucks ++!! juz fer the application fee alone!
damn tt place. robbing ppl.urgh.
i havent even applied at nie yet.
gonna try at moe hq tmrw...i hope there are Real coms i cld use as they said there wld be.
i even forgot how alin did it that time..
damn my goldfish memory.
my brains gone rusty...argh. i so need to use em soon.
y did i wana apply fer nie?
im never even good with kids.
with my pathetic leading qualities n speech defected speech..
im nvr gona be a gd teacher.
i dun even have the passion to teach.
sigh.
but its like i dun hav a choice.
if i CAN...even go to nie...id be thankful...
if i cld...i swear i have to be good to the kids...sigh..or ill be known as the wicked witch frm de west. haha.
ntu?aha...im trying luck still.
nus? no luck laa...wasting money to even apply there.
so yeah...private unis r like my last resort..haiz..
not like im a millionaires daughter u know...who can pay wherever they wana go.
i cant.
im a middle incomed family with a single breadwinner whose family is still struggling to get by..n the eldest daughter juz have to screw her grades n unable to go anywhere good.URGH!
im so good at making everything sound bad.
but like dad sez...ive to be thankful.
at least i passed.
yeah.
look on the bright side.
compared to my prelims where i NVR passed a shit...i actually passed a couple of subs..PASS.
so yeah..
THANK YOU GOD.AMIN.
now...its juz...i dunno where to go.
seriously.
im feeling lost..
lost.
lost.
lost.n i so HATE this feeling.
*****************************
lets talk abt smthg else?
work?
this week i haven set foot to work.
apparently my stand by days r officially off days cuz im like not needed.i spoz theres a sudden huge influx of new recruits of full timers cuz IM a part timer n i wasnt called. even a fixed work day todays was cancelled.**** it!
i spoz ppl shld b glad when they rnt called fer work. i spoz ...tt is if ur still paid!
im not. i get paid fer the hrs i worked... n nowadays im like stuck at home with no fonecalls! oh yes i do have...ppl calling me to say tt i dun need to come fer work today.URGH! n im like so in need to work fer the damn bloody $$$$!!
im pretty much feeling fug up.
i dun know why.
mayb thinking abt how my furture will be like juz spoil my mood.
its so not me to start planning.
but since i have to..
i dunno how to..
n i dunno wat to..
n im so feeling URGH!
damn i need some light..
GOD ALMIGHTY....I BEG FOR U TO SHINE UR LIGHT TO GUIDE ME THE RIGHT WAY. AMIN....for my mom n dad.
sigh.
